Every hello has its goodbye

Hey guys! Since it's the last day of 2011, I figure it's time to say thank you to the people who mean the world to me! You guys ought to be honoured when I mention ya'll here alright! x) Before I get started, my new year's resolution are definitely to score very well during O level and learn to focus and stop getting distracted by boys, friendship problem, the people who always try to bring me down each time. I wanna be happy for 2012. I do, i do. ;) Oh well, i can't believe 2011's gonna be gone in.. a few hours time. I don't know why I feel sad that I have to leave 2011 behind already. 2011 has been a year filled with lotsa memories and a year of truth, a year where I finally open my eyes and realise who's worth it, who isn't, who cares and who don't give a flying fuck.

That's about it! Let's start with thanking the people who made 2011 memorable to me!

Hi 3E5! You're my numba 1! Mwehehe aw guys! I thank ya'll for making everyday of my time in school an awesome one. Although we're like the last class, we're the most tightest class and I heard we're one of the best E5s around. Plus, we're the last batch of E5 so shouldn't we all feel honoured? Still remember our random class cheer? "When I say garwei you say walrus! Garwei! Walrus! Garwei! Walrus!" Hahaha! I'll never forget those glee days, and ups and downs we've been thru. Ah, yeah we've been through all the shit together like the blueroom thing and all. One more year full of shit tgt alright! Not forgetting the awesome people I met in this wonderful class, Farhan Garwei! Thanks for always being thr for me you both! Hwaiting! xx

Xin chao! Gosh guys! I'll never forget Vietnam, ever! I mean those bumpy rides in the night train and the long hike, the planting of rice and stepping on Ox's shit!!!! All those memories with ya'll are just priceless! Not forgetting the homestay and hotel hahahaha. I miss Vietnam and all the things we did thr yknow! Thanks for making the Vietnam trip enjoyable!

Hi gemok! Thanks for all the things you've done for me like hearing me rant and helping me in a way. You're really like my best guyfriend ever and eventhough you're always bullying me I know you love me to the bitty bitty bits like how a brother would love his sister! I miss you man. Work hard next year and score well for your Os in 2 years time! Have an awesome new year lenzy! And go slimmer ok? Hahahaha luvya! xx

Hey whatzzzzzap Vice-president Nasrul! Thanks for everything you've done for me! For being such an awesome friend, an awesome listening ear and for teaching me how to skate and all. Oh, also for laughing when I fell down. You're really a nice guy and I hope she'll realise it one day alright? Or maybe not her, maybe a girl who deserves your heart just like how you deserve hers. :) Anyway, thanks for 2011 dude! You made me smile too! Mwehehe, I hope 2012 will be a good year for you and I hope you'd score very well in your Ns. Don't forget me alright nas! Luvya! xx

Hi ros aka Harum sundal malam aka marpoah!!!!! God. We're only quite close in sec2 right? And now! We're BFF! Forever must find time to lepak with each other one you know! Thanks for being such an awesome friend and a listening ear. Thanks for staying up late just to talk OTP! Mwehehe. It's really fun being bitchy and gossiping with you! Anyway, I hope 2012 will be a good year for you okay? Last long with horse!!!!! Luvyou xoxo

(ME AND AMY'S IMAGINARY PHOTO)

Hi Tipah! I haven't taken a solo photo with you but I hope I will next year. We got closer this year and even closer through whatsapp! That's when all the opening up and stuff begins! Aw, you're really an awesome listening ear and a fucking funny friend to be with! Tidak ku sangka engkau sebegitu, wahai tipah ku yang ku sayang chey ape aku mepek ni? Hahahaha! Anyway, thanks for all the laughter and tears in 2011! The late night OTPs and all that. Yeah baby, we're gonna mek-rie the night! Let's be strong and move on alright? Help each other next yr! No time for boys girlfriend! Hope you'll score well in your N lvl next yr alright? iLuvya! xoxo

Hey Noritak!!!!! Omg, let's see. I've known you for 3 years right? And we're so tight and strong and everyone thinks we're siblings awww isn't that sweet? ;) Mwahahaha! Anyway, really thanks for everything you did in 2011. You've been there for me since forever and you've seen me at my highest and lowest point in life. You're always there for me, always. So thank you so much. I'll never forget the day you sacrificed to accompany me under his blk when you were clearly late for your art O lvl class. I mean, it's O level we're talking about. And you sacrificed it for me.. I'll really never forget that Norita! I hope 2012 will be an awesome year for you and I wish you'd get into your desired schl and score well for Os alright! iLuvya! xoxo

Hi korang! You guys are like my best sisterlurpz eva okay! Thanks for always being there in one way or the other. Didn't expect us three to be so close this year but we are and I'm happy I met you both! Thanks for always updating me about the latest gossips and all that! Thanks for being such wonderful lepak-pat-banquet gang! I realise that we'll never have an end to our conversation whenever we just slack there and eat! Mwehehe, well. I wish you girls all the best for your Os and I hope that we'll 3 help each other to get into our dream schls alright? iLuvya both! xoxo

Hi. You are? Hahaha hello my beloved Sisterrove/telepathy-strong-like-fuck-er. You're seriously my bestfriend you know? Like a fucking tight bestfriend i'd ever have. I still can't believe we used to hate each other. How weird was that? Hahaha. Anyway, thanks for the whole of 2011. You saw me laugh, you saw me smile, you saw me tear and cry. You saw me through it all. Through it all you're always there for me. I can't believe both of us went through so much in just 1 year. & the best thing is, we went through it together. Gosh, you're really like a sister to me. Sisterrove, have an awesome new year alright! 2012 is soooo our year and nobody can mess with us, not especially when we both have each other! Imagine when a double-boomboompow-bitch unite and be bffs? All the best for your N level sayang! Yes, we must both help each other and you better clinch that top 10% award so we'd both get to go to Poly together alright! iLuvyou xoxo

Hi faizzul. Happy new year. Thank you for 2011. Thank you for the tears and laughter shared among the both of us. I wish you all the best for your N level and may you be blessed with happiness always. Goodbye. xoxo

To the rest of you!!!! Have a happy new year guys! A new year, a new you. Time for a change everyone. Be a better person and learn to treat yourself and others right! Thanks for reading! Time check: 1030PM. 1 and a half more hours to go people! Ta-ta!

xx

Where do we go from here?

Well, I guess I'm really picking myself up. I feel happier now that I've really decided to throw it all away. I'm so bored right now and I've got CCA tomorrow but I'm not even sleepy and dayyum I'm craving for lotsa things like popeyes mcspicy best fries forever. Who's with me? #teamfatties

Created Path and it's only meant for bestfriends. I want it to be a site whr I can be able to post my deepest, truest feeling without anyone judging me. But I've also privated my twitter account because it feels weird getting stalked. You're probably offended cos you stalked me right? trololol *.* Path's kinda cool. So if you think you're a goodfriend of mine and you wanna share my path, search BTRSY MN alright? Most probably you're not. I've only 7 person in mind. Heh, oh I've not taken much pictures recently & my dslr's basically rotting at the side of my table with a cracked screen - life. That's about it. Oh girls, don't let one person bring you down. You have more things to be happy about like having friends, family, a house, food... yes. food. Ah what the crap. Annyeong goodbye adios amigos!

xx

You can't face the world if you're not being you

Wazzup wazzup! \m/ School starts next week and I'm not even sure if I'm gonna be prepared for a hectic year. But tbh, I kinda miss school and slacking in class and all that. Quite upset that I won't be able to attend the Orientation Camp though :( Ahhh, hoping that I can secretly sneak in for Camp fire!! *cross fingers*

Norita & Syafiqah came over yesterday to chill!!!! Okay, had karaoke session for awhile singing all those very jiwang malay songs & random english songs that I didn't know I had. Hahahaha was kinda fun till we all got pretty tired! :P

Ok, I shall let ze pictures do the talking!!!! :)












Overall, it was an awesome day ah-woo-ah-woo! \m/ Luv em both! xx

Oh yeah, have something to share with ya'll! A few days ago my mum cooked my favourite dish and there was something different about it!!!!! A PURPLE POTATO!!!!! x)

Isn't it cool and cute?! HAHAHAHA damn mum should get pink potatoes instead. So freaking adorable! Pyong pyong! =^~^= om nom nom! And trust me, it tastes the same!!!! I mean, it's just food colouring right? I showed this to my friends and Amy said it looks like a poisonous/rotten potato!!!!! :( While dinie said it looks gross but besides that, the dish looks delicious wtf!! Irrinoying >:(

Oh, and guess what guys!! I've been practicing my math with my Bruh and I realised I've forgotten even the basic topics like indices! What the fuck. Okay, atleast I've been practicing! & I finally know how to get a Matrix question right. Hopefully I can apply it in my test and exams! :/ I remembered that when I was first introduced to the topic, the teacher got herself and the whole class confused... *facepalm Zzz So uhuh, that's when I started skipping qns in exams/test that has got anything to do with this topic! hehehe c(:

Okay, I'm off guys!!!
XOXO

Haru haru - Bigbang

Leave
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me
Ah ah ah ah

My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind
My heart vanished like smoke
It can't be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
(Say goodbye)

Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you"
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless
What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

(Chorus)
Don't look back and leave
Don't find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day (eh eh eh eh)
Oh girl I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye...

If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

Always be happy with him, (so) I won't ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won't be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

(Chorus)

I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by
It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all (mm)
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you

(Chorus)

Oh girl I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don't lie, lie
You're my heart, say goodbye

Fighting to let go

Fuck no. I was wrong about what I said last night. I'm sorry i mentioned all that shit to you. That's what I'm fucking sorry about. I'm sorry because right now, i'm gonna fucking take back all the fucking apologies i said to you last fucking night that you didn't even fucking bother to reply. I'm sorry i get so fucking jealous at the fucking sight of every fucking thing. I'm sorry you don't fucking love me for who the fuck I am. I'm sorry I'm not her. I'm sorry I keep trying to fucking hold on. I'm sorry I can't move on so quickly. I'm sorry that I forgot those pictures were all in the past. I'm sorry I'm so direct. I'm sorry I'm not shy enough to fight for you. I'm sorry I'm someone you don't even have to fight for, because I'm always here for you. I'm sorry I'm not who you expected me to be. I'm sorry for even trying to make everything right. I'm sorry for giving a flying fuck about everything that is concerning you. I'm sorry I've always believed in you. I'm sorry I've never fucking lose hope. I'm sorry because only now you fucking realise that I'm not the kind of girl who gives up. I'm sorry you used to love me for having guts, for standing up for myself. I'm sorry that this has to happen. I'm sorry I always get fucking fucking upset over the slightest issue. I'm sorry I can't help every single shit I'm feeling right now. I'm sorry the fucking tears are flowing. I'm just fucking sorry I'm not perfect. But ALWAYS KNOW that I've never made you an option, and always know that I've always always always spare a thought for you. I'm sorry I'm just another girl. I'm sorry for being who I am to you. I'm sorry I didn't lie and hide it from you so that you will love the fake side of me instead. I get your fucking point now. But the only person I feel truly sorry of is myself.

xx

"Bat. I know im not fai or who but. i will always be here for you k :( we go through so much in just a year. we only got close like last year holiday only and i feel like we best friends since forever sia. haiya im really greatful to have you as a friend sia :( k this is so gay but i crying writing this LOL" - Syafiqah Rodrigues

Bestfriend, bestfriend. Why you so sugar? :') I can't believe we used to h8 each other. Yes, we're bestfriend since forever & no doubt, i'll always be thr for you. I teared reading what you wrote. I hope we'd still be friends after I leave schl. I luv you xx

How can I love when I'm afraid?

#nowplaying: A Thousand Years - Christina Perri

Hi guys! I'm bored. :/ So i figured out the chords for this particular song which I used to dislike because I find it rather boring but then when I was forced to listen by Syafiqah, I kinda like it already. It kinda gets to me. So yeah, the chords are simple. A minor, F, C, G? For me, that is. And I'm the kind of person who plays the guitar whenever I feel like it so this might not be the exact chords but well, for me it is! :P

I learned how to play the guitar like this year. And well, I did it for someone since that person played guitar before but, nah. That person didn't even get to hear me play. I was too shy. Hehehe ;) Thanks to Farhan & Tobias for teaching me how to play it at the beginning of the year. And I remembered clearly that I went for a guitar session with Lenz, Helmy, Farhan, Ilyas, Chuphel @ Tobias's place. It was awesome. \m/

The first song I learnt was Marry you by Bruno Mars and once I was done with that, I immediately learnt Back to December by Taylor Swift. uhuh, meaningful song.. to me. :) Alright guyz, i feel fat! Ta-ta! *waves*

xoxo

Sadness is only for now, boy

Hell-o thr fellow readers! :) I know I've not been updating my blog for a long time but well here I am! It's the 25th Dec, so I'd like to wish ya'll a very Merry X'mas especially to my Christian friends. =^~^=

I've been spending my days either Whatsapp-ing/talking on ze phone with Syafiqah, Amy & Ros! Mwehehehe. I have to agree the drama made our friendship tight! So anyway, I went to the gym with 'em on Thursday and I swear we had loads of fun! We were so high that we even took a gaysh1t video! HAHAHA god I luv these galz. x

Amy trolling @ the back! Hahahahaha omg Syafiqah's eyes are all black! Looks uber scary! Hahahaha & I look like an egg. O_o A very cute egg. x^.^x

This is me after running for 30 minutes! I'm so proud of myself!!!!!!! *pats my own back* This was the first time I ran for 30 minutes straight without stopping and my legs weren't so tired and I wasn't out of breath. The last time i ran for like 20 minutes, I was close to dying! Hahaha \m/

Hahaha, check out me and Sya's cutiex socks! Hers is the purple polka-dot socks while mine's a cartoon picture of T.O.P aka my awesome hubby. xx

Anyway, after gym session we all went Macs for an early dinner! O well, I kept eating afterwards which makes the gym session totally redundant. I need to work out more and eat less :( Oh, and I need to train for Napha next year. I wanna get atleast 13 mins for 2.4km which is quite impossible. But i'd be happy as long as I pass. :)

School starts in a week's time. That probably spells H-E-L-L for most of us. With the newly assigned DM & P, uhuh it's hell. But one thing I'm looking forward to school is meeting my friends! It's been so long eh? Look at how time past.............. I'm already sec4 the fug.

2012 2012 2012, I just wish to score well for my Os and get into my desired course & head to NP and be a happy girl. Can't w8 to leave this school. But i'd probably miss Secondary school life alot when I graduate. 2011 tought me alot of things, especially when it comes to love. O: So, i should be thankful to that person right?

What a lengthy post!!!!!! Have a blast everyone! Merry x'mas and a happy new year to all of you! xx

p/s: Once this year is over, I'm never looking back. I'll just pray we'll smile at each other at the end of next year, and when we do, I just want my heart to not beat fast. I miss you, as a friend. But I guess things can never be the same again and yeah, we're suppose to be hating each other right? Yeah. All the best for N lvl. The next time I'll be talking to you would probably be before we're both taking our major exams and I would really like to wish you all the best on9. On the contrary, no matter how bitchy I am gonna be towards you, I'd always feel remorseful afterwards. Just remember that. I'll never forget you, Faizzul. I won't. :')