Nobody understands

I wish someone could.. This means alot to me. But nobody understands. How much he meant to me. How much I really wanna make it work. How much light he brought to my day. I've never been so happy in my life. I was so broken since 3 years ago.. he gave me so much strength. And faith. To believe in myself. He made me love me for who I am inside. He make me so happy, I just want everyone to know how much I love him so much. Nobody understands, this feeling I have. He's like the sun and the moon, and the rain that waters the garden in my heart. And nobody ever understands this. Nobody understands how much time we have left. How I'm so afraid of the future but he's the only one that keeps me going and constantly reminds me to be strong for the both of us. Do you know how much time I have left? Do you? NO. No you don't. Nobody understands. I feel so confined from being happy. I feel so suffocated. And this feeling 4 years ago is coming back. And I really just don't want it to come back. And when it does I know it's gonna be back for a long time.. But nobody understands this torment, or fatigue in me. And nobody understands how much I love him. And how little time I have left with him. Nobody. Will. Ever. Understand. 

lol feeling super duper fucked up

Life's tough

Life's tough. Tougher than I thought. Not even strong enough to handle what's coming. Well, atleast I'm trying to be. And I know He's there for me. (sigh)

p/s: No feel to blog, maybe soon. Maybe not. Maybe, not so soon.

Hope.

Thinking about it, I feel so messed up. But I know all will be okay. I can't see it now, but I just know it will. 

SG Flyer & Family ♡

Hello! This week's been a pretty good week cos I went out with so many people like Norita, Mal and my famfam :-) Feels good to finally just spend quality time with them. Hahahaha, anyway.. 

Met Norita on Tuesday and treated her to Al-Azhar cus I'm the best hahaha! Oh well, the usual deep talks and all. And she finally met Akmal cos he accompanied me to wait for her so yep. Finally my boyfriend meets the girl who molds me into who I am? hahaha! Took lots of pictures with nutass ofcourse but I look ugly in all.... Ah, one of these days I gotta take a proper nice one with her and insta that shit! 

SG Flyer with Akmal on Thursday! Initially we wanted to meet his cousin.. but due to time constraints and so as to not waste the free tix, might as well just go on with the flyer hahaha. Anyway it was really nice spending quality time with him. Like once in awhile, going on dates and shit. I mean, it's true we see each other most of the days in the week but we don't really get to talk and such? Idk how to explain it really haha. 

Ate at Popeye's woohoo the biscuit is the bomb.com?! Hahaha! It's really mouthgasm mmm. I tried to get Mal to give me his biscuit but got rejected so wtv man :-( Hahaha, doesn't matter actually. Then after late lunch we found a really nice spot near the river or smth idk but it's just really really nice to sit down and talk, especially at night. I really love talking to Akmal cus he makes me so comfortable. He's really a good listening ear and just very very nice to hug. So blessed, so so blessed. Pictures time! :-) 

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 Yumyum in our tumtum hehehe! :-) 

 Somebody getting angry...... (HAHAHAHA revenge!) 

 HAHAHAHAHAHA this is most probably his t(-_-t) face.

 Testing out the effects, it looks like shit. 

 Teehee, favourite picture! :-) 

 Yeah, pretty gay I know I made a flower ring for him but wtv he wore it. It fits his pinky perfectly. And then I took it off and it broke so too bad! haha  

Lovely day. And everyday's gonna continue being a lovely day with him right by my side. :-) I'm so blessed and thankful for everything. Akmal's been really amazing and I really believe in us. I hope everyone blesses our relationship and hopefully this will bring us far in life together. :-)

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Family day out, super impromptu. Was suppose to go to Sentosa but exactly the queue was so fucking long and Vivo was crowded so we just walked around and ate and shit. Then later at night we went for a midnight movie. Watched Robocop. I'd give it a 7/10. The movie pisses me off alot but at the same time it's really not thaaaat bad I suppose. Too long though, my ass hurts. Ate too much popcorn, grew fatter the next day. No, I'm not kidding. Here are the pictures! :-)

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 Nayli cyrus (nickname by Mal haha) fui fui fui hahaha :-) 

 Yay to big ass chicken pau? 

@ West Coast for Indian food, gotta love them indian food yumz! 

That's about it, had a wonderful time with wonderful people. Cooking baked rice as my sis's belated birthday gift (haha sorry this is all I can do for you lil sissy!) and it's gonna be delish as fuck. Meeting Sya tomorrow so I'm gonna pack some for her, hopefully she'll like it! :-) Alright, goodnight everyone!!! 

p/s: I hope it's not too late but happy CNY to all my chinese friends! :-)

New year's resolution?

I know it's kinda late but I thought perhaps I have to really be serious and firm about my new year's resolution which are:

1. Be a morning person (wake up earlier and shit so more time to get ready, more time for resolution 2.)
2. Eat breakfast (I haven't been doing so for the past 2 years and brekkie's the most important meal of the day! Plus I end up eating alot at night so I've got to stop that habit)
3. Drink more water (Not the sort who drinks water but I've decided to put a bottle on my table so I can just keep drinking. I will drink till my pee is like almost transparent yes that's my aim haha!) 
4. Go for walks, preferably in the morning (by far the hardest resolution but I will try my very best. Maybe I should start walking to the bus interchange instead of taking bus lol) 
5. Save money, spend notes save coins (for rainy days, for 5 years later. Plus being broke sucks so.) 
6. 47 by this year (mission impossible but I'll make it possible) 
7. Love myself 

Alright, that's about it. I wish I could do number 6 a.s.a.p but it's so hard. Starting number 2 and 3 already. Trying to do number 5. Number 7, not so easy but I'm working on it. It's the hardest. Haha wtv, also I need a job. I would prefer working around children for now. Any recommendations? I need money, I'm broke. Chao!