What Bat Said

Song: Slow Goodbye.
Mood: Sad.

Dear N,

I wished that you'd view my blog as often as I view your facebook profile. Well, apparently, I can't anymore. Because you deleted me off your fb as a friend, guess you're telling me to fuck off from your perfect life and move on. I know it's been tough. What I'm expecting from you, is too much. But trust me, I've never asked for much. I just wanted to spend time with you, be it talking on msn/facebook or chatting via handphone - it's enough to please me. One sms from you and you already got me beaming like an insane girl. It's just, why don't you bother about me? You're different. The N i knew on 13th March wasn't the N i knew now. You really don't give a fuck about me do you? You, in fact, went around telling others that I'm annoying (just because I talked to you on fb while you don't have the mood), you scolded vulgars at me - thinking I didn't know. You told your friend you didn't know when you'd stop this r/s with me - well, you just did. I was really sarcastic with you in fb just now, i commented on your lame wall post like fucken' shit. I wasn't really bothered by what you posted, really. I'm not petty. I'm just disappointed, with what i found out. You had a handphone and didn't inform me? You went around cursing me? One moment you're hot and the next you're cold. I don't know what the fuck you want from me. You asked me to get a fucking life when you were the one who came into mine and screw things up for me. You made me fall even deeper everytime, then now you let me hit the ground. Thanks. My hearts says hold on but my head says let go. But you're the one lettin go of the 3 months. You forgot the times when i walked alone at night to refill your water bottle while you were sick during camp, you forgot the time when I was worried like shit when i found out you're going to have an OP, you forgot about the time when I was happy when you sms-ed me on my birthday. You forgot most things, but i remembered. You forgot about the time I was cheering on for you like an idiot by the soccer field while you were having your match. You forgot about the time when you said thank you to me for everything. You really forgot. Yeah, maybe I should really get a fucking life. But doesn't mean I can't love you. Trust me, you'll find girls very easy to come to you, there are already 6 liking you, I swear. Thanks for the memories, fight for me. My 11:11 wish didn't come true last night. Since it's not worth it anymore, I'll just share it with you. I wished for us to be together..

There are alot left to say I wish i could hug you and tell you that I really love you and then really just let go. Then again, I shouldn't. You're telling me to move on but I'm not willing. I know you're tired of me. I just love you so badly, it hurts.

xoxo.